Issue 20: Lady Barber Advantage or Disadvantage

Comparison can turn your advantage into a disadvantage. With the right positioning your difference can turn into money. I'll tell you a little about my lady barber experience.

The year was 1999.

I was the only female barber in a Manhattan barbershop with 9 other barbers.

Every chair was full, except mine.

A client walked in the door. I stood up and said, “You getting a cut?”

He said, “Yeah, but not by you.”

“What do you know about cutting hair?”

“More than you do, obviously,” I replied.

The owner heard this and said, “Kiné.”

Nah. Don’t cut his hair. I’m next.

The client turned to the owner and said, “Jimmy, she cuts your hair?”

Jimmy said, “Yeah, and she’s nice.”

The client replied, “She will never cut my hair.”

Jimmy said, “Your loss.”

Jimmy sat in my chair. I cut him, razor lined him, and had a great conversation.

He was out the door before the client who was still waiting and watching me closely the whole time I cut Jimmy.

The next week, guess who ended up in my chair?

You guessed it.

And every week after that for over a year, until I left New York and moved back to Chicago.

When I got back to Chicago, I moved into a barbershop that had two other female barbers. They were both very successful. Everybody wanted to sit in their chairs.

I was in good company.

So let me ask you this:

What is your lady barber experience?

Mental Health System

There are many advantages to being a lady barber.

We’ll talk about a few of them.

But the biggest disadvantage is the belief that barbering is a male profession.

The same way firefighter and police officer were once seen as male-only professions. They are still male-dominated professions, but that doesn’t mean a woman can’t do great detective work, shoot a gun with precision, or rescue a cat, a kid, or somebody’s grandfather from a fire.

Cosmetology is a female-dominated profession. Over the last 30 years, more men have become cosmetologists.

And here is the difference.

Nobody questions their skill set the same way.

Women sit in their chairs, trust their judgment, and pay them well.

But in barbering, there is still this subconscious belief that men are better barbers.

That belief is more about programming and patriarchy than truth.

We are programmed to believe men are better, faster, and stronger than women.

The male body is built differently than the female body. That does not mean better.

The belief that men are naturally better at barbering is deeply rooted, but it can be shifted with experience.

Just like that client I dealt with back in 1999.

He had a belief.

Then he watched the work.

Then he got in the chair.

Now, in 2026, there are a lot more female barbers than when I became a barber. So yes, the belief is changing.

Slowly.

But here is where the mental work comes in.

A lady barber cannot build her whole identity around proving men wrong.

That will wear you out.

If every cut is an audition for respect, you will be tired before lunch.

You have to get past your own limited beliefs about the industry too.

Because some lady barbers are still asking for permission without realizing it.

Permission to charge.

Permission to stand out.

Permission to be feminine.

Permission to be masculine.

Permission to cut women.

Permission to cut men.

Permission to be sexy.

Permission to not be sexy.

Permission to be soft, sharp, funny, quiet, spiritual, hood, polished, gay, straight, married, single, thick, skinny, tattooed, natural, bald-headed, or whatever the hell else you are.

That is the lady barber advantage. You may have more lanes available to you than the men do. Men are often pressured to look the same, talk the same, dress the same, cut the same, and compete in the same little box.

A lot of male barbers compare themselves into sameness.

Lady barbers stand out before they even turn the clippers on.

That can be an advantage.

Or it can become a disadvantage if you spend all your time comparing yourself to male barbers and trying to disappear into their lane.

You do not have to be one of the guys to be respected.

You have to know who you are and embrace the fact that you're going to stand out as a lady barber.

Money System

Money has no gender.

It does not care who you are.

Money goes where it is invited, and it stays where it is welcomed.

The lady barber who knows this attracts the right clientele, charges the right amount for her service, and runs a profitable business with confidence.

She finds her niche.

She makes a name for herself.

She carves out a space that is all hers.

The money comes easier when you know who you are.

The unashamed lady barber is a dangerous woman in the best way.

Whether she uses she, he, they, or any other title that fits her spirit, when she knows who she is inside and out, regardless of what others think, she thrives at being the barber she was meant to be.

While other people are watching, judging, comparing, and whispering, she is collecting her dough.

That is the lady barber advantage.

She does not compare or conform.

She competes by being herself.

Even if people are annoyed by it. Especially then.

Her money comes from her confidence.

Some lady barbers use their sexy. That is a lane.

It does not mean she cannot cut. It means she understands the experience she is selling. It can be risky, but she knows the assignment.

The client may be coming for the cut, the conversation, the flirt, the vibe, the fantasy, or the feeling he gets when he sits in her chair.

If everybody is grown, respectful, and giving consent. It is what it is.

Some lady barbers specialize in cutting other women.

They are not competing for male attention at all.

Whether she serves the lesbian lady, the professional woman with the short haircut, the woman who wants a barber cut without the barbershop vibe, or the woman who is tired of explaining things to somebody who does not listen, that lady barber has a lane.

She can build a whole business without caring if a man ever sits in her chair.

Then there are lady barbers who do cut men, but a particular kind of man.

A man who knows what he wants and is not afraid to get it.

A man who likes her precision.

A man who respects her time.

A man who is not scared that a woman with clippers might know more than him.

She knows a closed mouth does not get fed.

So without begging, she invites the right clients in with a service they cannot refuse.

Still, some lady barbers, just like some male barbers, are unprofessional and careless.

And it shows in their business.

Being a female barber does not guarantee your success.

It also does not block you from success.

There are advantages and disadvantages.

Money comes when you know how to work the advantages and overcome the disadvantages.

The problem is not that lady barbers have fewer options.

A lot of times, we have more.

The problem is not choosing.

If you try to be everybody’s barber, you become forgettable.

If you keep comparing yourself to male barbers, you may start shrinking the very thing that makes people curious about you.

And curiosity is profitable when you know what to do with it.

Business System

The business question remains:

Do lady barbers keep their money flowing by leaning into being a lady barber or leaning away from it?

My answer is this:

Lean into what is true, useful, and profitable.

Not a gimmick.

Not a costume.

Not “I’m a lady barber” with no skill, no consistency, no professionalism, and no booking system.

That is not positioning. That is decoration.

Your advantage becomes a business system when clients know exactly why your chair is different.

Not just that you are a woman.

Why your chair?

Do you create a safer experience for women who want barber cuts?

Do you give men a clean cut without the ego games?

Do you specialize in short cuts for professional women?

Do you serve queer clients who want to relax instead of explain themselves?

Do you offer a softer barbershop experience?

Do you bring precision, humor, sensuality, calm, privacy, speed, education, or luxury?

Pick something.

Then say it clearly.

Then build around it.

That means your service menu, photos, captions, consultation, pricing, booking rules, and client experience should all support the same message.

Comparison kills positioning.

Difference creates demand.

If your whole business is built on watching what other barbers are doing, you will end up sounding like them, pricing like them, posting like them, and wondering why nobody sees you.

That is how comparison becomes a disadvantage.

Male barbers do this too. They compare themselves into sameness all the time. Lady barbers often have the gift of being noticed faster.

Do not waste that by trying to blend in.

Stand out!

Make the difference easy to understand and the value easy to pay for.

More importantly, make the experience easy for you to repeat. That is when your lady barber advantage becomes more than a feeling.

It becomes a system.

From the Chair

This week, use your downtime to check out the resources and past issues you may have missed.

If you want the pricing formula, revisit Issue 14: Pricing Clarity for Barbers Who Are Ready to Stop Guessing.

Also, share it with a barber you respect.

If you are still comparing yourself to other barbers, revisit one of my favorite issues, Issue 9: Judging How Far You’ve Come.

One last resource you may want to consider has all the links you’ll need.

Whether you’re thinking about scheduling a session with me, sending me your biggest questions, or getting an exercise to help you move into a Calm Optimal Brain State about your pricing, go to the main resource page here.

Either way, you’ll get more clarity and remember this:

You are not alone.

Keep reading the journal and sharing it. 

See you sooner. Love you muchly.

Kiné